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A Healing Inside

from Americana by LILLI LEWIS @folkrockdiva

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Lilli Lewis' third recording with iconic indie producer Mark Bingham "Americana" on compact disc in a 6 panel digipack with lyrics

    Includes unlimited streaming of Americana via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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I wrote these verses at a time when I was at a crossroads with relation to my trauma work. When I was first diagnosed with complex PTSD, it felt like the floodgates were let loose on my grief, and that I might very well drown in that unending well. When it finally occurred to me that after all I had been through, something inside me had kept me alive that long, I began to believe that I could use that unknown force to bring forth what I sought in healing. When I rediscovered these verses during the summer of 2020, I saw the work of the BLM protestors as doing the same for our collective, generational trauma.

This song was born in the tradition of the mournful music that used to happen before the service at my father’s 150 year old shack of a church. We would stomp on the floor to keep very loose time, and someone would moan out a melody with the rest of the congregation responding in our own time, but somehow, all together. I was only 5 when I left my father’s church, but I still knew this was the sound of reconciled grief, and that these bodies allowing the breath to move through them to intone in this manner was somehow completely in alignment with nature. It is still, to this day, the truest music of my remembrance.

Sweet Honey in the Rock was also able to reach some of those dimensions, which is why discovering them at 13 made them an instant obsession. This ensemble is representative of a group of Black women artists who formed as a support group at the beginning of the quarantine, each recording their contributions from their own homes. The highlight of the track for me comes with the bass-y ad libs provided by Seattle Blues mainstay Anita White, professionally known as “Lady A.” White has faced a devastating blow to her career as the band formerly known as Lady Antebellum has taken over her name in an effort to be less tone def in the time of Black Lives Matter, so hearing her defiant declarations conjure up the indefatigable power of endurance through faith for me.


I have a healing inside me just now

I have been longing for justice just now

I have a yearning for safety just now

I am a self-sovereign human just now

I claim the space for my grieving just now

I am awake to my journey just now

And I have a healing inside me just now


from Americana, released October 29, 2021
Lady A Anita White - Ad Libs
Arnae Batson - Backing Vocals
Vienna Carroll - Backing Vocals
Angelique Francis - Backing Vocals
Kim Richardson - Backing Vocals


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LILLI LEWIS @folkrockdiva New Orleans, Louisiana

Lilli Lewis bears a progressive, provocative, and conscientious presence paired with a love for music that began before she composed her first song on the piano at age three, Lewis is a modern day Renaissance woman, who, when in full gear, conjures the likes of Big Mama Thornton, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Odetta, and Janis Joplin. ... more

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